>
One of my baby brothers from church went through a rough patch recently this week, and it hurts to hear of how he struggled and even contemplated death.
But I'm feeling real angry too. I've always thought the most selfish, cowardly thing you could ever do with your life is to end it in your own hands. Like who gave you the rights to take away what doesn't belong to you in the first place, you know?
The circumstances really doesn't quite equate with his age - To have in secondary schools such hostile environments, and it scares me to see how easy it is for the younger youths to hurt themselves, or just take their own lives as and when on a whim.
When he was talking to me, a part of me want to rationalise and think that the way he handled his problems is just a phase he's going through; that he'll understand wholesome right from wrong as he grows and mature in thinking. It just takes time. And yet another part was going, "You're young but that doesn't mean you can't think straight.."
And then there was the part about his church friends, and that got me so boiling mad. At no one else but that damn satan pothead. I'm more worried than anything else that if he keeps on steeping himself in satan's lies, he'll just be blinded to see the ones who love him, and just keep thinking no one cares. And so with hopelessness comes despair, and the vicious cycle continues.
I just think everyone needs reassurances. Some more so than others.
But even if you think that no one cares, trust that God still do. He's just doing what comes best and most natural to Him.
