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Today the worship ministry had its retreat at elder danny's place. The place I most fondly remember for its huge ancient gramaphone in the living room.
"Have you been to elder danny and michelle's house before?"
"I can't really recall."
"It's the one with the huge ancient gramaphone..."
"Oh!" -sudden burst of light-
Phee offered to drive me home after the retreat. Home, meaning the most out-of-the-way place for him, but he's so sweet to offer.
Since Richard stayed at Admiralty and it's along the way, I hitched a ride back with him instead. It had been a rough day and was bone-tired.. intended to sleep during the trip back, but through God's amazingly humourous way and will, I found myself being coddled by two utterly adorable kids in the car. It started with me just innocently teasing Chayenne and suddenly I had a 3year old sitting in my lap playing with my "long barbie doll hair" or so she said, and her brother Wayne regalling me with tales of his exploits in kindergarden. Tsk. The ladykiller.
Times like these that those darn maternal instincts start spurting. The irony was that earlier this evening, was just laughing with Elena about the idea of NOT HAVING KIDS UNTIL GOD SO DECIDES TO PUT ONE IN ME. I haven't reach the age yet where I desire to hear the sound of little feet pitterpattering around, but I can be convinced.
So, it had been a rough day. There was a staff meeting at the workplace early in the morning to inculcate us into a new timecode system - instead of a punchcard, we scan our thumbprint instead. wowness. I barely had 3hours sleep the night before, and skipped breakfast. I'm sorry to say I haven't been taking proper care of myself the past few weeks. Or maybe months... Scrowl. Was supposed to have breakfast with daddy & mumu. Been quite awhile since I last spent quality time with them, but the meeting ran over and could only squeeze in about 15mins brunching with them before heading back to work the afternoon shift... Really not too pleased with that outcome. By the time I knocked off at 4 and headed down for the retreat; I was utterly exhausted.
Well, I guess it can be said that because I'm tired.. the worship and fellowship at danny's was like a big gulp of sparkling water while in the desert of Arizona.
Stranded.
With flames shooting from my head.
Worshipping is, and I pray will forever be, always something that breaks down barriers and truly bares my soul to God.
And as we worship build Your throne. Come, Lord Jesus, and take Your place.
That statement, more of a proclaimation, was in my thoughts as we were gathered round the living room after dinner just singing and worshipping together. Indeed, it is a marvellous thing to prepare ourselves so as to usher the King of kings unto His rightful place.
I was tired physically, but spiritually I slowly felt rejuvenated. There were times when I experienced God dumping a whole load of His blessings to saturate and completely refresh me, but this was the first time I actually felt like He's slowly pouring Himself into me tenderly. Like nudging a half-withered pansy back to life again bit by bit instead of shoving the fertilizer and water down its stalk. It was a beautiful intimate moment for me.
I'm still pooped now as I'm typing this before hitting bed. But now it's a drifting on this melancholic cloud sort of tire instead.
He has never failed me. Even when I feel like He has; He has never.
